the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?
one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance:
so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here.
i really love @dril.it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”
This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.
(via danisnotonfirree)
I’m still alive
I’m still alive in case anyone was wondering
My grandma sent me this video on the trans bathroom controversy. His name is the Liberal Redneck and he is now my best friend.
Oh. My. God. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
(via rachkin)
America is 100% propaganda free!
I Pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the Untied States of America. And to the republic, for which it stands, one nation under God. Indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
myheart-istheworstkindofweapon:
The Money Tubbs only comes around every 5628 seconds. Reblog the Money Tubbs and you’ll find money!
Bitttchhh the last time I reblogged some bullshit like this I booked a 2k 30minute shoot lmao
☃
Let see what happens
I need I need I need
I need
(via unchangeablexangel)
i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because:
- i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live
- most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person
- im not a pissbaby
my white friends that have reblogged this give me life
4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP
If ur white and like this post I fux with u
^absolutely
5. It’s hard to be offended when white people jokes involve bland food/tourist dads in socks and sandals/white girls in yoga pants obsessed with pumpkin spice/suburban PTA moms and other harmless and mostly true stereotypes while jokes about POC involve them being called thugs/criminals/slurs/uneducated/illegal immigrants.
i fucks with u heavy if ur white and you reblog this
6. They’re usually really fucking funny and don’t perpetuate stereotypes that will ever affect me economically, politically, or cause me any true harm, let alone create risks that “justify” my murder and/or death
THIS
(via askr-deactivated20230503)
things you don’t point out about people:
- acne
- cuts
- Scars
- body hair in places you’re not used to it being???
- fat rolls/curves
- how much/how little they’re eating
- how skinny they are/what bones they can see because of how skinny they are
- How fat they are.
- If they have crooked or misaligned teeth maybe even yellowed
- If they sweat a lot
don’t do it
don’t
(via askr-deactivated20230503)
please be nice to autistic folks who ask for explanations of jokes, memes, sarcasm, etc. or who ask you to repeat what you say/expand on your thought in another way. we are trying our best to follow along… but sometimes a train of thought is just ??? confusing as hell. it costs 0 dollars to be nice to someone who is just trying to understand…thank you for your time
(via askr-deactivated20230503)
I kinda get the impression that Ewan McGregor intends to drop enough rumors of an Obi-Wan movie that eventually the studio will have no choice but to make one. Like, he basically is going to show up at the studio one day in full costume and with a handful of friends, possibly even a script in his hands, and just say ‘hey, we’re ready to film, let’s get to work!’ while a studio exec just stands there with a very confused look on their face because ‘no one cleared this, but they’re all here and they want to film and they won’t go away.’
please do
(via autisticvimes-deactivated201612)
Buy 365 near-identical, solid color shirts that range through the entire color spectrum in a loop. It will appear as though you wear the same color shirt every day, but in photos from previous months you’ll be wearing a completely different color.
(Source: reddit.com, via fuckyeahloldemort)
